I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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