Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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