And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
