Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
