She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
