Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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