I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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