oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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