3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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