I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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