Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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