I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
