He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
