a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
