brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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