i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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