You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
