lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
