i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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