i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
