I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
