i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
