U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
