Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
