Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
