I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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