so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
