Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
