I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
