What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
