Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
false alarm, still single
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
