Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
