No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
