ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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