Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
