Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
