remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
