This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
