I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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