paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
