I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
