i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
