Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
