Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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