Betty ford says i'm here all night
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
