i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
