i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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