umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
