Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
