So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
